Tuesday, May 29, 2007

In the beginning . . .

This is my blog. The following entries were written in a word document over the last few weeks as I was too non commital to start a real blog. But I am now taking the leap and getting this puppy started. Hope it doesn't bore. Thanks for stopping by.

5/1/07
To blog or not to blog. I already had the to myspace or not to myspace argument and myspace lost . . . or won? Anyway, I never did create a myspace. Which I guess was just trying to be anti-establishment, although myspace isn’t really an establishment, is it? I guess I just felt cool not having a myspace and if I got a myspace I can’t imagine I would have that much communicating going on, I don’t have that many friends and people from high school wouldn’t find me because I have a different last name, actually different last name or not, I wasn’t popular in high school, wouldn’t have swarms looking for me. I was only tempted to get a myspace in order to fill out the little getting to know me space – favorite books, movies, etc. That seemed fun, but then what? I’d probably just end up looking up weird guys I liked in Junior High, well, okay, I’ve done that, but I’ve never actually contacted any of them, which is best. So no myspace, but what about a blog? I thought that sounded cooler, but then what is so interesting about my life that I should post it online for others to read? Nothing. I guess that only speaks of my having a low self-esteem. Well, so be it. But I do want to write. I do want to have a source to ramble, so at this point it is starting as a journal, but a journal that could potentially be read by others, which I guess is a blog, but I’m just not ready for that commitment yet, so this starts as a little word document and if at some point I get up the courage I will transfer the contents to a blog. I guess if I do a blog and don’t tell anyone about it, no one will really read it anyway (If a tree falls in the woods…). There are millions of blogs, so why would anyone stumble across mine? So, welcome to my fake blog. It will contain random thoughts and experiences of my life, well, duh, that’s what most blogs are. Wow. Struggling. Welcome.

5/1/07
I am a receptionist at a company that sells photo copiers. Yup. Just couldn’t get more boring. The only way I can romanticize this job is by thinking that I am like Dawn from the Office – only without Tim, Gareth, David Brent or anything else interesting about the job. sigh. But it’s just a stepping stone, it’s just a stepping stone, a year and a half long stepping stone, but never the less. I am fervently looking for a new job, something’s gotta hit. In the mean time, however, it’s great experience at what working in a typical office is like. I studied acting and I am starting to write, so the more life experience I can get to inform my art, the better . . . that’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. . . . so what becomes of you my love? when they have finally stripped you of . . .


5/3/07
We have a rat in our office – it got into a girl’s protein shake and vitamins, I bet that thing is ripped. The exterminator left stickie traps for it and the next day there was a huge rat footprint on the stickie pad. It probably thought it was soooo funny leaving a footprint on the stickie trap – yeah, rat, we get it, you’re too strong for us. I bet the rat sits at our desks on the weekends and pretends to be us, it mocks our menial work, it answers phones in a chipper voice and plays spider solitaire. Screw you rat, the old school snap traps are on their way . . .

5/4/07
They found the rats hood. It made a home in the desk of a girl on maternity leave. One of the drawers was filled with empty ketchup packets and a pool of urine. Possibly the grossest thing ever. I work in the front office and the rat was in the cubicles in the back office. We feel superior up here in front. We don’t have rats and filth. Oh, you dirty dirty cubicle workers. They’re not really, but still we swear we could never again return to a desk that we knew a rat had been in. Remember lice checks in elementary school? Thinking, “You have to be pretty filthy to get lice, I could never get lice” but never the less you got just a little nervous when they would start to pull back your hair with that wooden tongue depressor. “Welcome back from maternity leave, by the way a rat was renting your desk drawers while you were gone.”

5/7/07
Over the weekend our rat friend died. And when I say died I mean a snap trap decapitated it and sprayed blood all over the carpet. I didn’t see the actual carnage, I only saw the drops of blood and the little chalk outline left behind. R.I.P. little buddy R.I.P.

5/22/07
Last night at the Dodgers game I experienced the most awesome, random little moment. Beach balls get knocked around all game throughout the stadium. The ball, inevitably, made it to my section and the rebellion of playing keep away from the ushers revved up the spectators. A few rows ahead of me a 50ish, curly haired, balding, Jewish guy stopped the flow of the ball and with a care free smile tossed it with little gusto away. The excitement of the crowd waned a little and in the quiet lull, the obese Mexican dude in front of me yelled, “Homo!” I know this doesn’t sound that funny, but I was crying, I was laughing so hard. The timing, the casting, the use of the word “Homo” was so perfect, you really could not recreate the amazing comedic moment, it was such a perfect thing to happen at a baseball game. It was just so stupid for the Mexican dude to call this little Jewish guy a homo for not bouncing the beach ball up in a manly enough way.

The obese dude in front of me also was cheering along one of the Dodgers, Russell Martin, and he said, “I love Martin, he’s from Canada but it’s all right . . . Come on, Martin, ai!” He was trying to make the age old joke that Canadians say “eh” at the end of all their sentences, but instead he said “ai”, like a pirate. Awesome.

Last thought on the Dodgers game, I think the little races on the jumbo tron are so weird. You know, the animated races, when they have a red, white and blue car racing around a track or something along those lines. It is definitely the most excited the crowd gets, they cheer more when their stupid little cartoon Sprite bottle wins the race against the Coke bottle than when there’s a base hit. Now I refuse to participate, I don’t even try to follow the ball hidden underneath the shell. I am that cool.

5/24/07
So, I happened to glance at the list of top ten searches for the day on yahoo and Bubonic Plague was on there. What? Apparently a monkey in a Denver zoo just died of the plague. The plague!? Black death!? Ring around the rosie!? What the Elizabethan disease? So, the experts are warning us to stay away from rabbits and squirrels. And if you do catch the plague just get some leeches to bleed you healthy again!