Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thanksgiving in Napa

Just had my first Thanksgiving in Napa with my Aunt Elaine and Grandma. Growing up we went to Napa almost every Summer, but I had never been to Napa in the Fall, so I was happy to experience it: it's beautiful!

As soon as I arrived, I drove up highway 29, stopping to take pictures and drink it all in. It was overcast, but great.













































It was great to spend time with my aunt and grandma. I have a very small extended family, but I'm lucky to have these two in my life.







Had a nice Thanksgiving meal.



First time I've ever carved a turkey.



Ended it off with my chocolate pecan pie. So yummy.



Stroll Thanksgiving eve:






And another drive further up 29:
















Bale Grist Mill:










I took a nice long walk to parts of Napa I'd never seen before. Came upon this little farm, who knew?






Day after Thanksgiving we decorated the Christmas tree. Getting me in the spirit.





Thanks to my Aunt Elaine and Grandma for having me. Great to be with family on Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

If

Hadn't read this poem in years and forgot how great it is. Truly some wonderful words to live by.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Friday, November 4, 2011

Day of Birth

I'm a couple days behind on all my posts here, but my birthday just happened and I thought I'd do a little checkin' in on my aging.

It's been a hell of a year. The hardest year and yet also the year of the most growth and learning. I have been really blessed through the adversity I've faced. I always thought it was bunk when I'd hear about people being grateful for their trials, but I think I get that now. I am grateful because I have really grown a ton, learned a ton and I am grateful for what I've learned about myself and about the Lord. I have had more amazing spiritual experiences over these last several months than the whole of my life, really. I like the person I'm becoming. I like that my goals and standards and desires are being refined and refocused. I feel like I am starting a second life right now and it can be anything I want it to be. Don't know where this quote came from but, "In the depth of Winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible Summer."

This was from "He's Just Not That Into You" (read from a quote book from my friend in NYC - it's really good, actually!):
"A standard is setting a level for yourself of what you will or won't tolerate. You get to decide how it's going to be for you. You can now design the person you want to be in the future, and the standards you want to have. Make sure you know what you stand for and what you believe in."

So, I am 32 years old now, and let me say I like my 32 year old self so so much more than say, my 22 year old self. Things really do get better. I like that I am way more confident and ballsy now. With each year that passes, I worry less and less about what people think about me, less about fitting in and looking a certain way or being cool or whatever. I appreciate my tastes and opinions. I know I look better now than I did when I was a teen or 20's. Now, of course, I fear the downslope is on it's way, but I'm just going to enjoy my temporary upslope and try not to worry about the wrinkles which also increase with each year.

I said "ballsy" above, pardon the term, but I do like that I'm willing to put myself out there, speak my mind more, not take crap. I feel like a strong, empowered woman. (I am woman hear me roar...) No, but seriously. I often feel like I am a little kid pretending to be an adult - like I'm wearing an adult costume, pretending I know how to work and function in the world. I suspect most people feel this way sometimes. But, for instance, doing my trip last week was great. Yes, I met up with my friends in MS and NY, but I felt great travelling on my own, making my way around NYC. I don't know, that sounds weird. I've always been pretty independent, but I am enjoying it more fully now. Fear and self-doubt lessens with time. Now, I say all this, and yet I still realize I am way more self-conscious and down on myself than I should be. Just yesterday my good friend was telling me I need to quit it, and he's right, but I am making progress, is the point. And I want to continue progressing with this line of thought: believing in myself and not making the comparisons to others that women so often do.

I won't get into it at this time, but I am super invigorated and excited to make some big career changes this year. Now is the time to pursue the things I care about and make a reality out of dreams that I always talked myself out of pursuing. That's something I way regret about myself 10+ years ago: I was too scared and made way too many excuses which kept me from doing things. Thing were always too expensive or not smart or practical - yuck. So, now I have this second shot to DO. I am going to get off my butt and put the work in and make things happen: yes, it's scary and impractical and expensive and risky, but I say, bring it on. Carpe Diem, right?

A while ago there was a lesson in one of my classes at church where the teacher was talking about To Do lists, we all have these lists, but she talked about having a To Be list. Who do I wanna be? I am. I want to be. And another churchy quote, but which is a great focusing thought for me:

"Love the Lord with all your heart, might, mind and strength. Enlist in great and noble causes. Create of your homes sanctuaries of holiness and strength. Magnify your callings in the Church. Fill your minds with learning. Strengthen your testimonies. Reach out to others. Create of your life a masterpiece."
I love that last sentence: create of your life a masterpiece.

Happy Birthday, Heidi. Here's to an amazing year ahead.

(Oh, and I hope I meet some hot British or Australian or other dudes - ha!)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

In the Eye of the Beholder

I love Halloween.
Usually I feel like I'm the only one in my office (whichever office, whichever job) that wants to dress up, but this year our office won a party and held it on Halloween. We decided that everyone should dress up like a TV character. It was so great to come in on Monday and have everyone in costume - it made me so happy!
I wanted to try to do something scary still, so I thought of Twilight Zone, one of my favorite shows, and voila - the pig-faced nurse from the In the Eye of the Beholder episode. The makeup wasn't great, kinda chunky and the paper mache lip I made was weird, but I think the overall effect was good and creepy.







Group Photo
(L to R)
Row 1: Scott as Sheldon from "Big Bang Theory", Jody as Don Draper from "Mad Men", Diana as Ugly Betty, Barbara as Det. Johnson from "The Closer", Rachel as the Zooey Deschanel character from "New Girl", Arika as Wilson from "Home Improvement".
Row 2: Indira as Chrissie Snow from "Three's Company", Sharmalee as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Beach as Night Wing, Nan as Buddy from "Family", Jillian as Sue Sylvester from "Glee", some pig-faced girl, Mandy as Sookie from "True Blood", Jeannie as a character from "Hart to Hart", Lora as one of the Ewings from "Dallas", Tanya as Mary Catherine Gallagher from SNL/"Superstar", Cathy as Selena, Lynn as Dexter from "Dexter" (serial killer) and Nic G. as one of Dexter's victims, Jared as Lex Luthor, Stacy as another character from "True Blood"