Babs

Look at how he looks at her
Will someone ever I look at me that way-
Full of all the feelings and the soft
Unspoken words that lovers say?
I thought that I knew ev'ry single
Look and sweet expression on his face,
Yet this is one that I don't recognize,
Although I've sat and studied him for hours.
But now I see how love completely occupies
A pair of' eyes...
See the way' they gaze at her,
Like slaves they follow every where she goes.
Do my eyes forget themselves
And do I ever look at him
And smile in such a way
That what I'm feeling shows?
Sometimes I have the feeling
Everybody knows...
And even though it's crazy,
Still I can't help wondering
If I'll ever live to see the day
When by some miracle of miracles,
He'll turn around
And look at me that way!

Local News Fail

Nailed it.

And, because I could listen to this over and over:

More poems. And why not?

I mean, I wish I spoke Spanish, so I could read Neruda without the translation, but even translated I love me some Pablo. They are just so rife with longing.(Whatever, leave me alone, sometimes I like this kinda thing!haha):

Love Sonnet XI
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent, starving I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disquiets me,
I search the liquid sound of your steps all day.
I hunger for your sleek laugh,
For your hands the color of the wild grain,
I hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your loveliness,
The nose, sovereign of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

And I walk hungry, smelling the twilight
Looking for you, for your hot heart,
Like a puma in the barren wilderness.



Love
Because of you, in gardens of blossoming flowers I ache from the
perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer remember your hands;
how did your lips feel on mine?
Because of you, I love the white statues drowsing in the parks,
the white statues that have neither voice nor sight.
I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice; I have forgotten
your eyes.
Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to my vague memory of
you. I live with pain that is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
do me irreparable harm.
Your caresses enfold me, like climbing vines on melancholy walls.
I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to glimpse you in every
window.
Because of you, the heady perfumes of summer pain me; because
of you, I again seek out the signs that precipitate desires: shooting
stars, falling objects.

Melancholy

I've loved this poem a long time:

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.


W.B. Yeats

Gems

It's late! I need to sleep, but there are too many funny videos on this site: everythingisterrible.com

Here are three. I'll do more exploring later:

Learn to Flirt:


Conceal and Carry:

CONCEAL N' CARRY! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

Geneology for Nuts:

Losing My Mind

It's hard being a hopeless romantic, it really is, and yet I am glad I am. I know people who don't really believe in love, haven't really experienced heartache - they believe in marriage and like having a partner, but don't think being "in love" really exists and you know what? Even though heartbreak is so hard and painful, I am so glad I feel it. I like reading the poems and sonnets and plays and literature from over the centuries and understanding the highs and lows of love. It means I'm alive. This morning a friend of mine, who one might not expect to be a hopeless romantic told me "I wake up she's on my mind, I go to bed she's on my mind, so I just need to get to a point where other things are on my mind." So sweet and I get it. And I like knowing that there are others out there who understand being heart-sick. It instantly made me think of the Sondheim song, "Losing My Mind". This is one of my audition pieces and I always loved/love singing it. It's traditionally sang by a woman, but I first heard it from Michael Ball, who gives it such a completely heart-felt, heart-breaking performance, linked below:



Along this theme. I've also had a sort of depressing week in realizing that romance in the movies has sort of ruined me. Specifically all the '80's teen movies I watched in my formative years, like "Sixteen Candles", "Pretty in Pink", "Some Kind of Wonderful" etc. In them the rich/popular/perfect/wonderful/dream person will realize that they don't want to be with the typical/usual/popular/rich/shallow people and want to be with the poor/interesting/geniune/quirky/real person. Jake Ryan doesn't want the blonde popular prom queen, he sees the beauty and genuine specialness (?) of Molly Ringwald. I wanted to believe this. But real life is actually the rich and popular, marry the rich and popular and stay rich and popular. People stay in their safe, comfortable circles. Guys want the trophy girls. Haha - I just realized that in the paragraph above I said I was a romantic and now I am crushing that with being a realist, okay and maybe a bit of a cynic. Le sigh.

Hmm. Ok. Reminding myself what I just said: the heartbreak is good. It's good to experience life. Good to be alive. Just be in the moment. Feel what you feel. Read some poetry, listen to some sad sap music and enjoy the rollercoaster.

U2 Videos

Ok. Here are the little, disjointed videos I took at the concert:

And so it began:






I Will Follow:


She Moves in Mysterious Ways:


All I Want Is You:

Bono harmonica:


Pride: In the Name of Love:


City of Blinding Lights:


Best moment of the night:




With or Without You:

Wernerchin

I'm very lucky to have Pop in my life. He's unique, wacky, funny, fascinating, strong, honest, tough, faithful and understanding.

Even Better Than The Real Thing

Last night I was finally able to fulfill a (nearly) lifetime dream: I got to see U2 in concert! I can't believe I hadn't, but somehow I always convinced myself I couldn't afford it, which was lame of me. I decided I was just going to do it. I drove down to Anaheim, in the slowest drive ever and got to Angels Stadium a few minutes before Lenny Kravitz opened the show. So my seat was awesome! There was the stage, the field for the standing/general admission and then I was the fifth row of seats! Fifth row, dead on! I was super stoked.

The lights went down and we saw on the screens above the stage the band walking towards the stage - so exciting - the energy and anticipation from the arena was palpable. The first moment of them playing I was in shock for a minute that I was actually watching and hearing them live and then I got quite emotional. I mean this is the band I've loved since I was, I don't know, like five years old or so. I just felt so joyous! It's been the toughest year of my life, but standing there as U2 started to play, I felt like you know what, my life has been rough, but who cares? I'm here seeing U2! I know that sounds crazy, but it was great.



I took a bunch of little videos on my phone throughout the night and some pics, that I'll post below, even if they aren't great - but they are fun for me to remember what things were like. Ok. So, I just tried to upload my videos and none of them will upload - I don't know why I can't, I've done it before - yargh! So I'm posting a couple of picks and will try to figure out the videos for a future post.

The first song was "Even Better Than The Real Thing" followed by "I Will Follow". So much fun. The thing is U2 has so many freaking songs/hits from over the years and they can only do so many in one night, so they did tons of great songs, but still more I would have loved to hear. Love the old ones, of course, like hearing "All I Want Is You", "Pride: In The Name of Love" and "With or Without You". I love "City of Blinding Lights" - great to hear that. My favorite moment of the night was U2 performing "One" and then at the end he started singing "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?" - he sang that line over and over and then the rumble came in and the deeply imbedded in my soul opening strains of "Where the Streets Have No Name". I mean how iconic is the beginning of that song? Did I totally sob during that song? Uh, yeah. It was just insane to be hearing that after the hundreds of times I've probably listened to that song in my life. All the times I listened to that as our family started out our drive across the salt flats towards Napa, CA. All the nights I listened to that song in the dark on my walkman. They also showed video of U2 from back in the day/Joshua Tree era and seeing them like that while listening to the song was really emotional: just seeing them as boys really, but as the band I remember first going crazy for as a little kid.



It was a great concert. They sounded fantastic. I felt really really lucky to be there. That was a big part of getting emotional during the night - I felt grateful to be there and wished my sisters could be there too - particularly my sister, Alex, who loves them too and hasn't had a chance to see them yet. I'm so happy I went. Long live U2.

Merry Wives

Wanted to quickly record a cool event I attended last week. Shakespeare Center of Los Angeles had a staged reading of "Merry Wives of Windsor" - it was an all-star cast including: Tom Hanks, Williams Shatner, Martin Short, Eugene Levy, Eric Idle, Tracy Ullman, etc. But the reason I wanted to go was because Kenneth Branagh was also involved! I adore Kenneth. He is THE Shakespeare Master, so I did not want to miss the chance to see him do Shakespeare live.

My seat was way up high, so I wasn't close, but still thrilled to be there. It was a stupid expensive event, so I was just lucky to be there (my boss gave me the ticket as a thank you gift). The show was fun. Everyone was being pretty silly and it was a super duper paired down version, but that was good for what this was. I mean it was a reading, so actors standing up acting it out, but still without much staging. It was set in the South, with blue-grass music. The music was great. Reba MacIntyre sang and actually sounded really good.

Martin Short was insane! So funny. He wore this weird white/silver wig, his Three Amigos hat and did a bizarre accent a la Father of the Bride. It was bizarre and delightful. He really went nuts and just did his great Martin Short thang. At one point he had some line like "I salute you" and he did his Three Amigos salute!!! It was awesome!!! Tom Hanks was funnyish, but you could tell he wanted to be the center of attention, he wanted to be the funny one and made weird remarks to Martin Short in trying to have the last laugh, but sorry, Tom, you're fine and all, but Martin Short is a comedy legend.

Now, Kenneth did not disappoint. I only wish he had had more - I want to see him in a for real Shakespeare production so bad! But the material he did have was still uber impressive. First of all, he looked fantastic - looked in great shape, great height. Second, his voice is lovely, just lovely. He spoke in his British dialect for most of it, but as his character went in disguise he would switch into a Southern/American dialect, and did so flawlessly. The first time after he finished a little soliloquy the audience broke into applause - like you couldn't help it, it was so apparent how amazing he was. He totally stood out. I mean, his use of language is perfect. He just knows what he's doing. I mean it seems so elementary, but whereas plenty of the other actors would be unclear with what they were saying, Kenneth was crystal crystal clear and absolutely compelling. I hung on every word. And not just because it's me and it's him, but because he USES the language and he knows it, he's completely comfortable in it. I also noticed that he does, again, I think effortlessly use the iambic pentameter. There are different schools of thought on how much to use it, or how to use it and I certainly haven't figured it out for myself totally, but he really proved to me that the iambic pentameter does make things easier to understand, that rhythm does makes things clear and just felt right when being handled by someone who felt it and used it right. It was beautiful to listen to. His energy with the language, with his words was great. Even though this was a silly, funny, improvy show, he just can't help but being a master. Just so impressive. I love him. I was devastated to learn that a local movie theatre had a Kenneth Branagh weekend ending with a viewing of his Hamlet with a discussion with Kenneth afterwards - yargh!!! I didn't find out about it until after - I would have freaked out. I love that Hamlet so so much. Anyway. It was cool to behold.

K. Good night.

Happy Mother's Day

I love my Mom. She's always made me feel safe and supported and loved. Happy Mother's Day!

My Mom's parents and grandparents:


Looking so stylish and lovely:


My Mom, the pilot, in her younger years:


Me and my Mom:

Burn the Floor

Wednesday night I got to see "Burn the Floor" at the Pantages. A lady at WB had 2 extra tickets, so my dear friend, Emily, and I went. I wanted to see the show and was so grateful for the tickets. IT WAS AWESOME! If you haven't heard about it, it's a ballroom dance show - but not like traditional, old school, but rather an exciting spectacle of all types of ballroom dance. These dancers were ridiculous! So good. The show just flew, it was so much fun to watch. So much energy emanating from the stage. My favorite part of the show? Pasha! Pasha was on So You Think You Can Dance and I loved him on there. It was really cool to get to watch him dance live. Don't wanna be inappropriate here, but wowsers he is one gorgeous Russian man. After the show, we waited at the stage door. Kayla, who had been great on SYTYCD as well was waiting and Emily was excited to meet her.



Then out came Pasha. Took one pic with him, but our eyes were freaky looking, so I asked if I could get another because we looked evil in the pic, he said "We are evil!" with his great Russian accent and then we took the second. So, not gonna lie, he felt really nice. Ok. I'm done.





Fun night with Emily. She's cool.

SLC Friends and Family

I went up to Utah over Easter weekend. I so needed to get away. I wanted time to just be with my family and friends and I got just that.

Wednesday I arrived in town in the morning and spent the day with my parents. It was a really nice quality time kinda day with them. We had lunch, talked, my dad played piano, seen in this little clip of my parents singing "Heiden Roslein" - a German poem/song, which I consider my song as I am Heidi Roslein.



I looked for the first time at my mom's geneology book and was fascinated by the pedigree charts - just from those simple charts I feel I learned so much about my family - things I never knew. I took notes, but really should get copies for myself at some point. So, it was a nice first day with the parents.

That evening I went out to dinner with my favorite person, Carter. He's a very important friend and I had a great great time. We went to an old favorite of mine, Bombay House (love me some Indian). Talking and hanging out with Carter is just the best, what more can I say? (I actually do have a pic, but promised him no one would see it!)

Thursday I went to Hogle Zoo with Alex (my sis) and Dylan. It was an overcast day, which is the best for zoo visits as the animals are usually more active and the crowds smaller. We had a great time. Loved being with Alex and Dylan. Here are some zoo pics:















After the zoo we went to The Soup Kitchen in Sugarhouse, another old time favorite from my college days. Dylan LOVED his grilled cheese "It's good. It's just good." Then we went out to their place in Sandy. Got to hang with Jerad. We had Lone Star Taqueria, which had been featured by Guy Fieri on the Food Network. Totes yummy. Jerad had to work that night, so Alex, Dylan and I watched "Tangled" - very cute.

Friday did some shopping with the Nighs, went bowling, then Alex made a great meal of Kung Pao Chicken, rice and edemame. Played Settlers of Katan (and barely won).

Saturday afternoon I headed back up to the SLC. I got to go back to the store I used to always buy my Converse from and got a couple pair - still great selection and prices! (NOTE: I realize how boring this post is, but I wanted to have this for my memories) Then I went to visit Elizabeth at work (KUTV). It was fun to hang out with Elizabeth. I got to talk to Brian Mullahy - news reporter that I first met when I was a little kid - he's the nicest dude! I took a bit of a drive around SLC then met up with my old ATP friends, Cassie and Eric for dinner. I love these two so much. I miss them and had a really nice dinner. They were good to me.






I then headed out to Liz, one of my bf's in Farmington. I proceeded to spend the next several hours with her catching up. I'm sorry I forgot to get a pic. It was really great to spend a quality night with her, just talking and being together. It was nice to be really open and commiserate over our trials but also have plenty of laughter. She's great.





Sunday was Easter. I went to church with my parents. The speakers moved me. Then all the family came out for a Rouladen lunch. We had a nice afternoon together. Of course, lots of laughter at the dinner table. Did some exploring of the basement with my sisters. Reminiscing. Nice day. Then Elizabeth, the Nighs and I headed to Sandy and kept the party goin. We ended up watching "Parenthood" (the movie) at the end of the night as it happened to come on and although I've seen it a couple times already, I loved it as much as ever - really a pretty perfect movie.

Monday was more quality Nigh time. Tried their favorite sandwich place, Firehouse Subs, played some Yahtzee, as evidenced in the pics below:


Alex so serious at her gaming.







Stayed one last night at my old house in the Avenues, then headed to the airport Tuesday morning.

There are always some friends I wish I had seen, but didn't get to, but I really do want to try to go up more often. It did me a lot of good to see so many people I love. They remind me of who I am. I love my family and friends, hope to be back soon.

Jiminy Glick interviews Anderson Cooper

Oh, man, always loved Jiminy Glick and I love Anderson and his adorable laugh:

The Unknown

"Part of our knowledge lies in accepting that there are some things we cannot know, and a great many more where uncertainty is more beneficial than a firm standpoint."
-Erasmus of Rotterdam

Resilient

"We learn that we are resilient. We learn that we can live in a world of imperfect, even inhumane, people and events. We learn that we do not have total control over our lives, and yet we do have control over our attitude toward our adversity. We can survive in a world that can break our hearts but not our spirits. We can use our innate strength to adapt, to see what is left, what new possibilities are offered, how we can build happiness on another foundation. We need not complain nor return in kind the evils we endure. We learn that goodness and decency, compassion and kindness will always, in the long run, be stronger than their opposites."
-S Michael Wilcox

Stephen Colbert High Tea

I couldn't love this more. I can watch it over and over and still die laughing.

The Colbert Report
Tags: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Perhaps

Reading an awesome S. Michael Wilcox book right now, "What the Scriptures Teach Us About Adversity" and loved this story from the writings called the Huainanzi, which he shared to illustrate a point:

"The story comes from Taoist philosophy which, generally hesitates to make many value judgments, seeing possibilities in all things and all experiences.

Near the northern border of China was a man who lived his life according to the Taoist pattern. One day his mare wandered off and was lost in the territory of the Hu, northern tribes who were enemies to the Chinese. All of his neighbors offered him their sympathy.

"How unfortunate!" they said.

But the man was hesitant to pass judgment. He said, "Who knows? Perhaps this will turn out to be a blessing. We will have to wait and see."

Within a few months, his mare returned and what is more, a fine horse from the northern territories accompanied her. Everyone now congratulated him. "How very fortunate you are! You have an additional horse, a fine stallion!"

The man replied, "Perhaps, but his may also be a cause of misfortune."

The man had a fine son who loved horses, and while he was riding the new horse, he fell of and broke his leg.

The villagers felt sorry for the man and his son. "What a disadvantage to have a broken leg. It will leave the boy crippled," was the common sentiment.

"Perhaps even this will one day turn out to be a blessing," said his father.

About a year later, the northern Hu invaded China. All able-bodied young men were required to take up arms and fight against the invaders. There was a terrible war, and as a result, around the border regions, nine out of ten young men died. This man's son was not required to join in the battles because he was crippled, and so both the boy and his father survived.

As this story suggests, it may be wiser to delay our judgments and face what we must face in the present, leaving the future to take care of itself."

Chopin Ballade No.1 in G minor, Opus 23 by Tzvi Erez HQ

One of my faves: