Baby Daddy

I have my lunch break at noon and I often eat my lunch and watch t.v. in the break room at my job. We have a limited amount of channels so I go back and forth from All My Children (the soap of my youth), the news and Maury and I just have to say that I am so tickled by The Maury Show, it is so wonderfully absurd. Almost every time I tune in the topic is Who is the Father? It really is mind boggling how many ladies out there don't know who the father of their child is - one of the girls on today was making her 13th appearance on Maury to have another guy tested for paternity - 13!!! We're talking about 13 dudes within, what, a week or so when she got pregnant. I truly can't conceive of that (no pun intended).

As with daytime talk shows there is a plethora of swear words beeped out - mostly from the guests, but I did notice today that sometimes during moments in the show when really nothing too dramatic is happening there are still beeps happening from people in the audience, who are just randomly swearing.

What has amused me most with watching these paternity shows, however, is when the woman comes on and she is so confident that the guy is the father, she swears up and down, saying her baby looks exactly like the guy, there is no doubt in her mind and then the tests come back and he is not the father. I've seen this a few times now and my favorite moment is when the girl apologizes to the guy. It is so weird. I saw a lady the other day, where there was such a huge, dramatic build up, she was goin' crazy about how the low-life guy needs to accept responsibility, how she's 110% sure, blah blah blah and he was fighting back, all sorts of yelling, beeps galore and then he wasn't the father and she just went up to him and said "Sorry about that", shook his hand, he said "no hard feelings", gave her a little hug and they walked away. What?!? It's so strange. I love it. Just a little "my bad" and it's on to the next paternity test. Brilliant.

Softening

So, I feel a little bad about my last post. Not a lot bad, but a little bad. It was possibly too harsh. I still agree with what I said, but I think back to my early youth and I did go through a couple phases of liking crap and it wasn't the downfall of my existence. For the most part, I actually still like movies and music that I liked as a kid - I think I had great taste for a little sprite. But, and this is a big but, there was a year, 6th grade, when I was trying to fit in, where I liked some serious crappola, for example, Color Me Badd. Yeah, and I would be lying if I didn't say that once in a while I'll listen to a Color Me Badd song and have a certain amount of enjoyment from it, in a reminiscent kind of way. I watched Newsies plenty of times and people could argue it is cheesy like High School Musical is cheesy, but I loved it. I would, however, be willing to put money on the fact that none of the High School Musical "actors" are going to turn out to be one of our great actors as Christian Bale of Newsies did. Whatever the case, I do think that the Disney channel blows, but hopefully, at least a good percentage of the kids that like High School Musical now, will grow out of it and one day look back on it as just a bad phase in their taste history.

Back in my day

The Disney Channel is the downfall of our civilization. Yesterday I turned it on to see some of High School Musical - not because I thought there was a possibility of it being good, I was prepared for it to suck, but I didn't realize just how badly it would suck - I turned it on because I heard that they had filmed the movie at my old high school - East High in Salt Lake City and I thought it would be amusing to see the old hallways of my alma mater. Well, I did get to see my high school but it was at a high, mind numbing cost. That movie is so utterly awful and yet it is the biggest hit with tweens right now. My womb shudders at the thought of bringing a child into a world where this is the popular entertainment. One could argue that it is good clean fun for the young set, but these kinds of movies are contributing to the dumbening of America. Kids are growing up thinking that it is acceptable for companies to churn out huge turds for movies, not only that it is acceptable but that it is desirable. Kids that watch this also think that they are watching actors, actors that they very often aspire to be like. Let me tell you the teens in this movie and really any other show you will see when you turn on the Disney channel at any given time are an embarassment and a disgrace to actors everywhere. I realize there are a lot of evils within entertainment right now, but the wound that is Disney channel entertainment is still festering in my brain. Walt must be turning in his grave. I'll continue to add to my dvd collection for my future little kiddies - I don't care if they are hip or not, they will be watching Warner Brothers cartoons, the Muppet show, Fairy Tale Theatre, hell they can watch Raging Bull and Silence of the Lambs if they're up for it, just no Disney channel!

Pet Peeve

Audience reaction shots. Fo' real. Any time I'm watching a show and they cut to people in the audience, I get so annoyed. If during an interview there is a great, touching moment and then they show some sweet young girl in the audience looking inspired, or teary-eyed, I instantly dry up. If there is something funny happening and they show some dude in the audience laughin' it up, I want to stop. If during a concert a favorite song comes on and they cut to a yuppy couple singing along, it drives me crazy. I just don't care what the audience is doing - let me enjoy the show I turned on to watch. Is that cold of me? Should I enjoy sharing the viewing experience with the studio audience? Well, I don't.

Home is where the weird is

Last week I went to Salt Lake City to visit my family and friends for a few days. I stayed in my parents home for the first time since getting married five years ago. May I just say it was uber strange. I lived in this same house from the time I was born and have been back there plenty for dinners, visits, etc, but this was the first time that I slept in my old bedroom, in my old bed. Some things have changed, but my glow in the dark stars are still on the ceiling where I placed them and my large stuffed toy Robert the Rabbit was still at my side as I got into bed. The first night there I went out with a friend, so I got home late, after my parents had already gone to bed and let me tell you creeping up the stairs to my bedroom, trying to avoid the creeky spots on the floor brought a flood of memories back to me, all the late night dates I would come home from. I felt like I was an amnesiac. I believe I lived there, if nothing else because this nice man and woman are telling me I did, but I can't quite comprehend that I really lived there for 23 years, however as I maneuvered around the house things came back to me by instinct - oh, yeah, this is where I hang my washcloth, this is the way I lay in this bed, this is the view from the window. Freaked me out, but by the end of the couple of days staying there, I was just a little bit sad to leave good ol' 331 H street.

makin' it go, makin' it grow

I've had a few strange, sentimental blasts from the past lately. Last week Whit(my husband) and I found a web site where you can listen to old sitcom theme songs(http://www.sitcomsonline.com/). It was pretty fun to listen to all these old theme songs that we hadn't heard in years: Perfect Strangers, Silver Spoons (from which the title of this blog entry comes), Growing Pains - the theme songs of the '80's are fantastic - everything is so positive, each little theme is like a session with Stuart Smalley or Mr. Rogers. After listening to a few, we started feeling oddly sentimental. Something about hearing these songs after all this time, that we had heard so often as children made childhood seem so long ago. These songs were so familiar, yet so distant. I don't feel like I watched that much t.v. as a kid, but never the less there was some trigger in me that was set off when I heard these songs again. Punky Brewster sent me over the edge. Oh, Punky, what happened to the simple times of our youth when we didn't have to worry about jobs or bills or breast reduction surgeries? Those were the days.

My band

This is the publicity shot for the band, Gorged by Buffalo . . .
aka me and my mother and sisters in law

Agreed.

You scored as Hermione Granger, You're one intelligent witch, but you have a hard time believing it and require constant reassurance. You are a very supportive friend who would do anything and everything to help her friends out. Hermione Granger 90% Remus Lupin 85% Albus Dumbledore 60% Severus Snape 60% Ron Weasley 60% Ginny Weasley 55% Draco Malfoy 50% Sirius Black 45% Harry Potter 40% Lord Voldemort 40% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

It's Over

I just finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. First may I say, nicely done, Ms. Rowling, that was a fantastic journey. J.K. managed to infuse a lot of people with a uniting sense of creativity, fantasy, imagination and love, yes love. It felt really weird to close the book and know that it's all over. Sure there will still be the anticipation of the next two movies coming out, but the story has ended. I am glad I finished reading book seven as I can now watch t.v., surf the web, walk down the street without living in fear of "hearing something". My boss hadn't read any of the books but read the last couple of pages of book seven when it came out and she loved to toy with me, well let's put in in correct terms, to threaten me saying that she was going to tell me what happened. She asked what I would do if she told me and I looked her straight in the eye and told her I would quit. And I don't think I was kidding. That might sound ridiculous, but I really don't know what other solution there would have been, if my boss didn't care enough about me or have enough self-control to keep quiet I can't imagine how I could continue to work for her. But, luckily, she resisted spilling anything and I am now back in control of my life. There is so much I could say right now to summarize my feelings on this book, but I don't want anyone reading this to catch any slight whiff of the outcome, so let's see I'll just say something cheesy like, it's been magical.

Just the Way You Look Tonight

What a group, including my alter ego, Emma Thompson and my #1 crush, Hugh Laurie. Call me nerdy, but I love this . . .

A Bowl of Hollywood

Friday night I had my first Hollywood Bowl experience. I've lived in L.A. about a year and a half now and finally made it to the bowl. It was John Williams night and it was wonderful. I probably cried or at least welled up about five times throughout the night. People who know me won't be too surprised to hear that, it doesn't take much for the water works to start. The first half of the concert was music from various films and the second half was music from John Williams' scores.

My first source of emotional surging was when I heard the oh so familiar first few notes of Tara's Theme from Gone with the Wind. I grew up seeing this movie many times and it along with the book are favorites of mine - so hearing the sweeping melody while sitting in the town where so many of the great early movies were made, staring at the Hollywood sign on the hill just got to me.

The second puddle of tears came from a medley of Doctor Zhivago music. They showed clips from the movie on screens and a mixture of seeing Omar Sharif collapsing at the end of the film and remembering playing the music on the piano at my parents house hit me.

Now this one I'm a little embarassed about - I got a little choked up at the music from Superman. Actually, you know what? Screw it, I'm not embarassed - it's great music and Christopher Reeve's story is sad. When they played Can You Read My Mind? I looked up into the starry sky and yes, it was emotional. I know that's almost as cheesy as Margot Kidder's recitation of "can you read my mind? do you know what it is you do to me?" But probably if I watched that movie again, I'd cry at that also.

Of course, Johnny Williams whipped out Harry Potter, Star Wars, E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Ark as well. People freaked out when the horns started blaring the Throne Room music from Star Wars, the light sabers were a' waivin'.

Good job, John.

Me as a Simpsons Character

Pic Picks

Everyone in our country should go see Sicko. Now, I know some people may have issues with Michael Moore, but whether or not you are a fan of his personal opinions, you need to see Sicko. It is funny, sad, informative and inspiring. I feel like people often want to hide behind the growing political divide in this country and claim that movies like Sicko or Inconvenient Truth are just "liberal mumbo-jumbo", but issues like health care and the environment are for all of us and Sicko is not only a very important film, but also highly entertaining. I laughed, I cried, well, you know. And one of the Cuban doctors is hubba, hubba.

My second recommendation is Ratatouille. It's pretty perfect - funny, heartfelt, smart. I went and saw it at the El Capitan theatre in Hollywood which is usually rad because they deck out the theatre and have some huge spectacle on stage before the movie. For example, before The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe there were set and costume pieces all over, a light show and then snow fell on the audience, it was magical. The show before Ratatouille consisted of za-za musical theatre rejects performing tween hip-hop of Disney songs while beloved Disney characters like Micky, Winnie the Pooh, and that Rosie O'Donnell Gorilla from Tarzan(?) danced, banged on pots and pans and chanted "cookin' in the kitchen, cookin' in the kitchen". I think my jaw was stuck open for the entire, excruciating Disney On Ice, minus the Ice performance. Good thing the movie was so rad, thanks, Pixar.

Over it

My vote for "get a cheap laugh" joke . . . Jazz Hands. Seems people still think either saying or doing jazz hands is their original observational comedy. Calling out "jazz hands!" at opportune times may have been funny once, but now everyone and their dog whips out the ol' shakey hands. Bored.

We are the Littles

Bill Hader to star as Tom Little in the much anticipated big screen adaptation, The Littles: Dinky's Revenge.

Cakesicles!

What's better on a hot Summer day than a nice Cakesicle?
I like me some cake and all but cake on a stick seems way too obese.

Workin' 9 to 5, well 8 to 5 actually

What is good about my job?
I get to walk to work
I've read more books than I can count since I started here
Fun co-workers
Every day is Solitair-o-rama

What is bad?
Having to hear my boss deucin' it in the bathroom. I want to tell him he needs to change his diet, because it shouldn't be that difficult, but that might be weird.

Why I almost became a vegan yesterday . . .

I had a few eggs in the fridge which weren't getting used so I decided to boil them for egg salad or whatever. I had put the eggs in the water and started to heat it up and I heard a weird, high pitched, what I can only describe as a chirping sound. I know it was just the water, heat, air, bubbles, making the sound, but it freaked me out. I actually took one of the eggs out and held it up to my ear to make sure I didn't somehow have freakish eggs which had wee chicks in them. They had been in my fridge for awhile so I, for a second, wondered if they had gone bad - and when I say "gone bad" I mean come alive.

Guitar Hero Update

It is great.
My band's name is Neo-Nasti.
I'm a pretty rad fake guitarist, but it's starting to get crazy hard.
The cooler one feels at Guitar Hero the nerdier they actually are.

Got a rocket in my pocket

I walked past a little old 80 something year old man today who was wearing a cap that said "Sharks" on it. Obviously this is some sports team, but when I first saw him all I could think was that he was a former member of the gang from West Side Story and that it was sad to see that his dancing/knife-fighting days were over.